I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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