Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
