Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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