at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize
