so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
