yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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