so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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