I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
