its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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