Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
only you would photoshop your dick
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
