I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
