She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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