I don't usually arrange sex via text message
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
