Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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