It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
