Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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