Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
