Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
