he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
