Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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