so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize