I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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