The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
