I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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