yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize