I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
