It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
