Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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