Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Randomize
