I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
