I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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