He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
being pregnant is like rehab
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
