Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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