he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
