tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
