Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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