I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
