do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
He shit in the fireplace
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
