so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize
