talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
