oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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