oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
