Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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