I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize