so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize
