i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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