My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
