I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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