uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
