He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
