Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
We need to rekindle our bromance
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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