I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
