he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize