i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize