I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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