Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
