some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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